Author Topic: Last Night's morning  (Read 4329 times)

Queenie

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Last Night's morning
« on: February 12, 2018, 11:54:55 PM »
Hi there, long time lurker finally collected enough courage to share the game I've been working on.
It's nothing special, a standard stuffing game set at home. I'm thinking of it as a test run, figuring out how the software works and what I can do. The game was inspired by the games I came across here, and though I did try not to rip anyone off, there will probably be some similarities, since there are only so many variations in this setting. I promise it was not intentional.

I focused on writing it gender neutral for the most part, with some description variation based on which gender you choose to play as, finding the middle ground between the fact there aren't really any male-focused games out there, but also so people who prefer female wg can enjoy.

I split the production up into three phases, phase one being the largest /probably close to three-quarters of the game /, phase two being significantly shorter and phase 3 being the endings /I currently have 4-6 planned/.

Right now, phase one is what's complete, and while I played it through a few times without any errors, it would be nice to have a few more people testing it and giving feedback, both on gameplay and writing :)

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/zjfxyvmw0u_0qokgpggylw/last-nights-morning

Plans for future updates:
-Phase one: -Adding a bathroom /possible bloating scene and ending trigger/
                  - Adding a functioning scale
                  - Inserting surprise ending
-Phase two and three

Riverking

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2018, 03:17:01 AM »
Very good so far

Fervus

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2018, 03:44:26 AM »
I focused on writing it gender neutral for the most part, with some description variation based on which gender you choose to play as, finding the middle ground between the fact there aren't really any male-focused games out there, but also so people who prefer female wg can enjoy.


That's laudable. I like how you have the gender trigger set naturally in the game, but I also think some people may be tempted to put the bra on their male character, inadvertently making them female.  There are a few errors in the writing, but it's actually very good in my opinion.


Two things to clean up:

"increased paycheck but a slightly less welcome increase in takeout dinners from the Chinese down the street" the Chinese restaurant/joint/place?

"You've never felt like this much of a pic before," when eating the third chocolate, typo when you meant pig.



Thanks for sharing, and good luck.


Midnight27

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2018, 04:21:29 AM »
I'd just like to say that I was quite impressed. It's well designed, well written and with very few mistakes. The ones I've found where spotted by Fervus. I'm glad you decided to join up and I wish you the best of luck with this game.

dingotush

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2018, 11:56:19 AM »
A very promising start with a great introduction!

My only real niggle was trying in vain to open the journal with the safety pin (using typed text - as the text hinted at the verb "use"), which would work in the real world, having not located the correct item. But that's a common problem with IF, where two or more items could provide the same function and the game only recognises one of them. I'd add a failure message if you try and read the journal and only have the pin. Some Quest games can be completed without typing, others require it at some point, so it's not obvious that just because an option is not offered in the menus it isn't possible.

"increased paycheck but a slightly less welcome increase in takeout dinners from the Chinese down the street" the Chinese restaurant/joint/place?
Just "the Chinese" is normal usage here in .uk at least, as would be the Indian, or the chippy. I'd be tempted to give the place a name just for a little flavour.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 11:57:59 AM by dingotush »

UDaddy

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2018, 01:35:10 AM »
Love the game so far!! Please keep up the great work!!

Gourgex

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Re: Last Night's morning
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2018, 08:29:10 PM »
LOVED the game so much! It felt so natural and enjoyable really excited to see more from it! :)